Heart-on-display

So I have been MIA (missing in action) for quite a while now your all probably wondering what happened to me. All I'm wondering is did you miss me??? I'm hoping so... =]

Well I have been doing a bit of soul searching as you do and a little more growing up. Things are looking up, I'm starting to make friends- most of them are boys and there nice to look at which is a bonus... I love the company, mostly it’s by text but it’s nice to just be able to talk to people...

Now I have a question for you all, I’m hoping maybe you can help me out...
I have been doing some TAFE courses and there is a new guy in the class and he has a major crush on me, you can practically see it from mars. Now after TAFE he asks me "what are you going to do now?” So I have been telling him that I'm going straight home, now home is a fair drive so its a good enough excuse for us to not have to hangout. But if I go down the street and I bump into him it’s going to be... Well strange and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I’m not into him and don't find him attractive physically or mentally. I don't want to lead him on or get into any awkward positions and I have no idea what to do...
Do you have any ideas that might help me out?

Love is seems so long since I held you in my heart. I look but where do I find you. You’re not hiding under carpet or rock.

Are you there for the sudden moment that my heart stops as I gaze upon the young man whom I wish to befriend? Where do you hide, or do you just hibernate till things warm once more?

So many questions so little answers. I new love once, but our ending was not a fairy tale.

My eyes will be open tomorrow. My prince waits unknowingly.

Now where did I put those glass slippers???

When I was young I'd imagine the man of my dreams. I would try to think of everything and build an image in my mind of what he would be like, the way he'd act and the energy that he would radiate.

I was young, with not a care in the world but I didn't focus just on looks I thought about personality as well. Looking back on those days, I wounder what my younger self would have thought about my past relationships.

Only one was a real looker. The others were no real beauties. But there were things that I liked about there personalities or there smiles were so bright and there personalities shone through and looks just didn't matter anymore.

But the way I let some of these guys treat me. My younger self would never have aloud it. The man of my dreams never would have treated me in these ways but yet I let them walk all over me I no longer put myself first nor was I awarded first place in any of these people’s lives.

“The way I was treated by these people I loved was appalling; when I was younger I would not have played with them in the playground let alone think about entering into a romantic relationship with them.”

I’m glad this train of though stopped at my station. It’s given me a lot to think about. I’m going to go pick my standards up of the floor and maybe just maybe one day I'll meet my prince charming.

Well at least that’s what I wish upon those shooting stars.

We all make mistakes, some may have foresight into what will happen and avoid some sticky patches but even they make mistakes.

I know that I have made mistakes along the way but I don't regret any of them for I think that I would be a lesser person having not made them. Mistakes are a chance that we take when entering into life they are just at inevitable as death.

Thinking about past mistakes is not the best thing to do for you can not change the past, but you do create the future and you have the chance to shape it however you like.

One of my recent mistakes would be entering in to a relationship with someone on the presumption that we would be friends with benefits. Now this was a bad idea on a number of reasons.
1. This person has no respect for me what so ever
2. This person is manipulative
3. I deserved a whole lot more than what this person could ever give me
4. This relationship was of no "BENEFIT' to me that so ever (if you get my meaning)

So I’m making myself a new rule,

"I WILL NOT ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS LACKING IN RESPECT OF ANY KIND."

Because I am worth it and I deserve far better that what I have had and the way I have been treated.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and it seems that the topic of body language keeps popping into my mind. Maybe it’s because I see it every day and everywhere.

Just today I was watching our two dogs they were showing aggression towards each other. It was subtle at first and then turned into a fight to become “top dog”.

Now it’s not just in animals, I see and read the body language of people when ever I am around them.

Some times it’s clearer to read than others but it is always there.

(Well unless maybe you happen to be talking to someone who is paralysed.)

Just the other day I saw someone and there body language was so clear it just about hit me in the face.

For example there is one person I know that doesn’t like me for some reason I don’t know why. Well on this occasion he happened to be sitting next to me. Usually I will talk to him but this day he didn’t want me to. Now he didn’t say this in fact he didn’t talk to me or say anything at all in my direction, he didn’t look at me and he sat with his back to me which was basically him putting up a wall. So he made it pretty clear that I wasn’t to talk to him and just through body language.

Not all body language is so negative, if someone wants to talk to you or they are “into you” they should make eye contact, they might move there body slightly so that they are facing you more directly and maybe even unconsciously mimic what you are doing.

Ok so I have done a little research in to body language, but it doesn’t hurt to know these things. The more you know the better equipped you are to take on the world I say.

This topic doses make me wonder, so I have a question for you.

Do you notice body language? If so can you read the body language that you are seeing?

Once upon a time there was a girl who was madly attracted to a boy. She was not slim or slender by any means. She felt as though no one would ever fall in love with her. She was 16 and had never been kissed.

The boy was beautiful when the girl looked at him she thought that he might be an angel. Others told her that he should never have been born and she felt the burn of anger in her heart when they said it.

I have been fooling around with this guy he's nice enough. But I thought that he just wanted sex. So I told him that I needed more and that I wanted to find someone and fall in love.

I'm pretty sure that he doesn't love me but he's the sort of guy that you wouldn't know. We don't really hang out a lot.

He seems to think that he can give me the love that I need, but I'm not sure that he realizes that sex is not love. So I asked that and I think that I may have offended him.

I tried to 'exit' gracefully but apparently not a good day for it. He kept pushing, typical boy I suppose "sex on the brain". Thankfully we were only talking via text.

Well what do you think- sheep or wolf in sheep's clothing?

My social along with my love life basically do not exist.


I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, I live in the country and went to a really small school which was in the middle of nowhere. I have been overseas for a year and coming back have no friends.

So I'm here as I want to make changes to my life. I want to fall in love with someone that is worth the effort and I thought that putting my "Heart on Display" would make a good topic for this blog.


I know its corny but I want to find the love of my life. I know I'm going to need some help along the way so if you feel you can help me out then leave me a comment.