Heart-on-display

Love is seems so long since I held you in my heart. I look but where do I find you. You’re not hiding under carpet or rock.

Are you there for the sudden moment that my heart stops as I gaze upon the young man whom I wish to befriend? Where do you hide, or do you just hibernate till things warm once more?

So many questions so little answers. I new love once, but our ending was not a fairy tale.

My eyes will be open tomorrow. My prince waits unknowingly.

Now where did I put those glass slippers???

When I was young I'd imagine the man of my dreams. I would try to think of everything and build an image in my mind of what he would be like, the way he'd act and the energy that he would radiate.

I was young, with not a care in the world but I didn't focus just on looks I thought about personality as well. Looking back on those days, I wounder what my younger self would have thought about my past relationships.

Only one was a real looker. The others were no real beauties. But there were things that I liked about there personalities or there smiles were so bright and there personalities shone through and looks just didn't matter anymore.

But the way I let some of these guys treat me. My younger self would never have aloud it. The man of my dreams never would have treated me in these ways but yet I let them walk all over me I no longer put myself first nor was I awarded first place in any of these people’s lives.

“The way I was treated by these people I loved was appalling; when I was younger I would not have played with them in the playground let alone think about entering into a romantic relationship with them.”

I’m glad this train of though stopped at my station. It’s given me a lot to think about. I’m going to go pick my standards up of the floor and maybe just maybe one day I'll meet my prince charming.

Well at least that’s what I wish upon those shooting stars.

We all make mistakes, some may have foresight into what will happen and avoid some sticky patches but even they make mistakes.

I know that I have made mistakes along the way but I don't regret any of them for I think that I would be a lesser person having not made them. Mistakes are a chance that we take when entering into life they are just at inevitable as death.

Thinking about past mistakes is not the best thing to do for you can not change the past, but you do create the future and you have the chance to shape it however you like.

One of my recent mistakes would be entering in to a relationship with someone on the presumption that we would be friends with benefits. Now this was a bad idea on a number of reasons.
1. This person has no respect for me what so ever
2. This person is manipulative
3. I deserved a whole lot more than what this person could ever give me
4. This relationship was of no "BENEFIT' to me that so ever (if you get my meaning)

So I’m making myself a new rule,

"I WILL NOT ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS LACKING IN RESPECT OF ANY KIND."

Because I am worth it and I deserve far better that what I have had and the way I have been treated.