Heart-on-display

Its official my brothers suck at being brothers. It there somewhere you can go to "hire" a brother or get brotherly advice? If there is please drop me a line. I would seriously love to know.

You see I could talk about this stuff with my girl friends but the problem is that they are worse at this “boy” stuff than I am and the thing about talking to girls is that you get a girls perspective. I already have one of them, I need the male perspective. I need some brotherly advice. Alas my brothers are letting me down in that department.

So,

Dear men,
Any advice you can grace my blog with would be appreciated.

Please feel free to comment on my posts or even follow my blog. It means a lot to me.

Thanks.

I want a guy/boyfriend, but at the same time I’m repulsed by the very idea.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m straight, I’m very straight. I know because I’ve considered batting for the other team quite a few times after becoming fed up with men and changing teams just isn’t an option for me (no matter how much I sometimes with it was).

I mean it would be great if I could I have some amazing friends we get along great. They are fun, don’t burp fart use foul language or other off putting or offensive gestures.

They are clean, neat, and beautiful and they are there when I need them. Unfortunately I like men. Who all too often are everything there not. Sometimes you’ll come across someone and he’ll surprise you, trouble is once you really like them you find out they have a girlfriend.

Then there are the “Nice Guys”. The guys that are nice but either is always the friend, can’t get or can’t keep a girlfriend. Now I have met quite a few of you. You probably have girls turn you down and say that you are “too nice” and you think “how can someone be too nice???” I never understood it either and then I met a couple of you and then I understood. Now I don’t mean to me mean, but I wouldn’t date you and honestly not a lot of girls would.

I’ve been asked out by a nice guy before, I turned him down. Probably if one or two things had been different I would have said yes.

He was always nervous around me. I don’t know why. Apparently he was never like it when I wasn’t around. But his nerves actually made me nervous and it made me feel unsafe. Which is weird because he’d be the last person that I would ever expect to hurt me. Also he didn’t flirt with me. I wished I was interested in him but I wasn’t and it sucked because he was an amazing guy.

So dear “Nice Guys” you are amazing and I would love it if you could evolve just a little bit. You know that guy who gets all the girls and is a dick to them (or some variation of the same) you should do some homework. Ignore what a jerk he is (trust me that is not what attracts them, at least not the smart ones) and figure out what it is that girls are attracted to, is he confident, charming or a good flirt…. Hell I bet on it he’s not clingy. It’s amazing how clingy guys can’t or don’t realise there clingy.

Then when you figure it out work on it “FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT” once you’ve done that please come find me. (I may just be hiding under a rock some where)

Alone, I feel the weight of it as it sinks in.
There is an urge to check my phone as I pull the covers over me and I resist because I know that there will be nothing there.
There is no one to message goodnight just because I can. It saddens my heart because all I want is a hug. Its Christmas night and I have no one to call mine.
I’m alone. But I’m ok, I know who I am, I know what I need and I’m slowly working out what I want.

Once when I was younger my mother told me that I would be beating guys of with a stick once I'd turned a little older. I never believed her, but now I’m contemplating looking for a sturdy stick.

A couple of weeks ago I got dumped by my bf. I was shocked completely and utterly shocked. I didn’t see it coming. He gave me the old line “trust me its not you it’s me”. I was shattered. I wondered why, because I know that I am amazing and maybe that sounds vein but when you repeatedly pick yourself up of the floor and rebuild you self confidence back up brick by brick a couple of times you start to realise your self worth. I felt like shit. One thought kept coming to mind “when he counts the girlfriends he’s had he wont count me, he doesn’t count relationships that last less than a month, I’m amazing and he won’t count me”.

Needless to say I was not in the mood for going out because there always seems to be someone trying to pick me up. So I thought I would be safe going out to a local Christmas get together there would be all couples with kids and I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone. I was wrong. There happened to be a French guy there, he was a couple of years older than me but not much. Well he was interested in me and asked me for my number he had a very strong accent and his English skills on the poor side so needless to say some things got lost in translation.

Since then the universe seems to be throwing men at me. I’m waiting for one to take my fancy. I seem to have one guy texting me every day or so like he’s checking up on me, making sure I haven’t disappeared but just standing by. I’m starting to wonder if there is some kind of signal I have to give him, as I type this I’m searching my desk for a flare gun..