Heart-on-display

Once when I was younger my mother told me that I would be beating guys of with a stick once I'd turned a little older. I never believed her, but now I’m contemplating looking for a sturdy stick.

A couple of weeks ago I got dumped by my bf. I was shocked completely and utterly shocked. I didn’t see it coming. He gave me the old line “trust me its not you it’s me”. I was shattered. I wondered why, because I know that I am amazing and maybe that sounds vein but when you repeatedly pick yourself up of the floor and rebuild you self confidence back up brick by brick a couple of times you start to realise your self worth. I felt like shit. One thought kept coming to mind “when he counts the girlfriends he’s had he wont count me, he doesn’t count relationships that last less than a month, I’m amazing and he won’t count me”.

Needless to say I was not in the mood for going out because there always seems to be someone trying to pick me up. So I thought I would be safe going out to a local Christmas get together there would be all couples with kids and I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone. I was wrong. There happened to be a French guy there, he was a couple of years older than me but not much. Well he was interested in me and asked me for my number he had a very strong accent and his English skills on the poor side so needless to say some things got lost in translation.

Since then the universe seems to be throwing men at me. I’m waiting for one to take my fancy. I seem to have one guy texting me every day or so like he’s checking up on me, making sure I haven’t disappeared but just standing by. I’m starting to wonder if there is some kind of signal I have to give him, as I type this I’m searching my desk for a flare gun..